Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Feedback

I am taking a creative writing seminar this semester at San Diego State University. All the students (save yours truly) are enrolled in an MFA in Creative Writing program. Needless to say, the course has been interesting, useful, and full of delicious data. Last week, we reviewed my first short story in class. I need to write a total of three for the semester. My story is nothing to celebrate but it is an accomplishment in that I wrote one. We had to write a brief description of our story:

A young woman, Lia Goff, welcomes friends Rachel and Dustin to her desert hometown. The two are moral support after the death of Lia’s father and some business concerns at The Corral, a street of small artisan shops she manages. Lia also directs the Fall Festival that shows off the stores in a weeklong sale. The friends stay with Lia’s accomplished mother, Georgiana, who co-created The Corral. Georgiana is suffering after the death of her husband. As the two friends help Lia solve the impending problem of sales at Red’s Glass, Georgiana finds personal renewal in a tale of town history and the artistry of residents.

I also cite this piece.
A few years ago, I grew interested in sand. Why is there sand in deserts? Where does it come from? I thought ocean waves made sand on seashores: waves pounded continents’ rock and shattered it to stone, gravel, and finally sand. This, I learned, is only slightly true.
From For the time being by Annie Dillard


We review about 4 stories per week, write reviews, and spend our evening class voicing feedback. It is both hilarious and pathetic. I often wish to laugh out loud and have managed to call some bluff in the most glib among us. A few of the stories have been excellent. Often, students bring part of their novel in progress for review.

I am just now reviewing the written comments from my story and spending a fieldday, or fieldevening as the case is. They have reponded favorably to the more organic scenes and the food writing. Many of them start their review with, "This is a great start . . . " Perhaps they are too programmed for the novel? So far, my favorite comment is from a girl who writes very faintly and very small in pencil. Her comments are thorough and careful. She gets an A for effort. Speaking of one of my characters, she writes in the margin, "She comes off as a little feather headed . . . ." Another reviewer, another female, cites a scene in the story where Nan Red Williams (very pregnant) jumps off a stool in her shop to welcome Lia who responds, "Easy there mom . . . ." The reviewer responds, "At first, I thought she was talking to her mom. Clarify this somehow." Someone suggests I condense Rachel and Dustin into one character. I can't wait to read more.

5 comments:

selma suzanne said...

I love it! Have a wonderful time at your class and do let me read some of your work soon. I still think about the last piece you let me read - such vivid imagery! You are a talent!

apple slice said...

K, thank you! Last eve our class was cancelled as the prof was flu-ish. I ran out to a movie, giddy. I will try to produce something read-worthy.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed the summary of your short story. It takes place in Santa Fe, doesn't it? In the autumn, Santa Fe hosts a famous hot-air balloon festival. Perhaps this festival could be worked into the story? Seeing things from the air always looks very different than seeing things from the ground. Perhaps one of the characters sees a winding dirt path leading up a mountain to what looks like the mouth of a cave? And on a later excursion to the cave, they discover ...

I like how the history of the town comes into the story.

apple slice said...

B, thank you. Your suggestions are noteworthy. It is actually set in St. George though it is not called by anything at all. Anyone's guess. It could be Santa Fe. I hope to never go up in a hot air balloon. Or, if I must, it should be over a body of water. Not that it would save my life in a fall, but it might.

Krustee said...

I have no gift for writing stories but what a great place for you to be. I'm sure they benefit immeasurably from your feedback. how fun. I need to be in a classroom again.